Well it can happen! You are at the rehearsal dinner with your bridesmaids, groomsmen, family and close friends, and now you realize that one or two of your dear friends or family members are really “hurt” they were not included as a part of your wedding ceremony. You had no idea they felt this way until now. Here is a consideration. In New Mexico and many other states, two witnesses are required to sign the marriage license. Generally, but not always, the witnesses are your maid of honor and best man, however, you might “save” requesting the witnesses until the day of your ceremony, or even after your ceremony, and ask the one or two of your friends or family, who you now realize feel a bit “left out”, to sign your marriage license. Now they feel included and you feel you were able to honor them in a special way.
When consulting with couples about personalizing their wedding ceremony, I always add the option and suggestion of writing your own vows. Many times the immediate feeling or thought is that this would be too difficult, too intimate, or that reading wedding vows to their partner from a piece of paper, would not “look” good for the ceremony. And…”I or my partner would just cry and not be able to read.”
It is my observation and experience that writing your vows to your “be-loved” can be a fun, deep and meaningful experience in that it allows one the time and contemplation to muse over why this person is so important to them in their life. It can also be a wonderful point of “sweet humor” coming into your ceremony. I have noticed many times that when one is expressing their appreciation for their partner, the partner is hearing, sometimes for the first time, an aspect of why they are loved so much. This is a joy to behold!
Some couples write their vows on lovely little book-like stationary, in little scroll form with a ribbon tied around, or just take the folded up notebook paper out of their pocket. I or the maid of honor usually have the bride’s as she does not have a pocket. It is just my romantic opinion, but reading your vows off of your iPhone is not what I would suggest! I always make sure that the couple keep their original paper written vows with their marriage license so that they have them for keepsakes. And if you “love-cry” while reading; well, we all are very, very happy to wait with full hearts. I will hand you a kleenex. If the bride, your maid of honor will fix your eye-makeup right after the ceremony. And, we all will know there sure is “true love” present!