The Spirituality of Marriage… “A True Marriage Is Caught not Taught.”

Love is playful, Love is honest, Love is respectful, Love just “IS”.

This is one of the most profound excerpts on marriage that was given to me to speak at a wedding. I wish I knew who to credit as authorship.

The act of marriage has many consequences, both social and personal.  Marriage requires “love”, a word we  often use with vagueness and sentimentality. We may assume that love is some rare and mystical event, when in fact it is our natural state of being.

So what do we mean by love?  When we love, we see things other people do not see. We see beneath the surface, to the qualities which make our beloved special and unique. To see with loving eyes, is to know inner beauty.  And to be loved is to be seen, and known, as we are known to no other.  One who loves us, gives us a unique gift; a piece of ourselves, but a piece that only they could give us.

The secret of love and marriage is similar to that of Spirituality itself.  It is the emergence of the larger self.  It is the finding of one’s life by losing it.  Such is the privilege of husband and wife ; to be each himself, herself and yet another, to face the world strong, with the courage of two.

To make this relationship work, therefore, takes more than love.  It takes trust, to know in your hearts that you want only the best for each other.  It takes dedication, to stay open to one another, to learn and grow, even when it is difficult to do so.  And it takes faith; to go forward together without knowing what the future holds for you both.  While love is our natural state of being, these other qualities are not as easy to come by.  They are not a destination, but a journey.

The true art of married life is in this; an inner journey.  It is a mutual enrichment, a give and take between two personalities, a mingling of two endowments, which diminishes neither, but enhances both.

A True Marriage is caught not taught.

 

 

Four Seasons Encantado’s Beautiful Vistas For Your Intimate Elopement

The circular outside fire pit has lovely views of mountains and sky and more sky.

Just a small walk “up” will take you to this grand vista of mountains and sky.

 

Most couples want to get married outside in Santa Fe, even in the winter, as our sky is so blue and our vistas so grand.  One of the best places for beautiful views is The Four Seasons Encantado, outside of Santa Fe proper. They have lovely accommodations, and if you are already staying somewhere else, we still can have your ceremony there, and you can celebrate with breakfast, lunch or dinner on their lovely patio, with the same lovely views, or inside which is just as lovely!  You might also want to view the “post” Intimate Setting Outside or Inside at Four Seasons Encantado Santa Fe NM.

The Penthouse at The Loretto Inn & Spa- Perfect for Your Intimate Wedding Event

Wed, Dine, Party and Honeymoon all in one lovely environment in downtown Santa Fe!

View the photos below, and you can see that a lovely ceremony can be held in front of the patio doors, in front of the fireplace, or out on the patio with the wonderful view of the Santa Fe Mountains.  Then your dinner, catered by the hotel, can be a sit down in the dining area. I have had some light food and one dinner after a wedding ceremony, and found the food to be quite good. The hotel staff was quietly attentive, and was willing to quickly serve up a champagne toast for the “Irish Blessing ” at the end of the ceremony.

Not shown is the full kitchen and lovely bedroom upstairs from the kitchen. The bride can make her entrance from the bedroom spiral staircase into the dining room, and to the fireplace, or where more guests can be seated, in front of the patio doors. If you want a patio wedding, and I have seen it decorated quite beautifully, the bride can also enter from a staircase below.  I just officiated a wonderful wedding here with about 25 guests. Besides the dinner table you see, another was set up in the living room.

This is one of my favorite places to officiate  a small wedding because of its versatility and the wonderful views.  You will even hear the hourly bells from the St. Francis Cathedral not far away. If you call the hotel, ask for Evelyn and she will co-ordinate it all for you!

Writing Your Own Vows Can Be More Special Than One Might Imagine

When consulting with couples about personalizing their wedding ceremony, I always add the option and suggestion of writing your own vows. Many times the immediate feeling or thought is that this would be too difficult, too intimate, or that reading wedding vows to their partner from a piece of paper, would not “look” good for the ceremony.  And…”I or my partner would just cry and not be able to read.”

It is my observation and experience that writing your vows to your “be-loved” can be a fun, deep and meaningful experience in that it allows one the time and contemplation to muse over why this person is so important to them in their life.  It can also be a wonderful point of “sweet humor” coming into your ceremony. I have noticed many times that when one is expressing their appreciation for their partner, the partner is hearing, sometimes for the first time, an aspect of why they are loved so much.  This is a joy to behold!

Some couples write their vows on lovely little book-like stationary, in little scroll form with a ribbon tied around, or just take the folded up notebook paper out of their pocket.  I or the maid of honor usually have the bride’s as she does not have a pocket.  It is just my romantic opinion, but reading your vows off of your iPhone is not what I would suggest!  I always make sure that the couple keep their original paper written vows with their marriage license so that they have them for keepsakes.   And if you “love-cry” while reading; well, we all are very, very happy to wait with full hearts.  I will hand you a kleenex. If the bride, your maid of honor will fix your eye-makeup right after the ceremony. And, we all will know there sure is “true love” present!