On a beautiful summer day some years ago, I officiated a vow renewal for a couple who had mentioned to me that they wanted this vow renewal as they had just gone through one of those “very rough patches” that almost ended their marriage. As part of their renewed vows and renewed deep contemplation on the meaning of their unique marriage, they asked me to read this. I do not know the author. It sure touched me and brought about further contemplation. It may also touch you!
“You can connect from all kinds of places – energetic harmony, sexual alchemy, intellectual alignment – but they won’t sustain love over a lifetime. You need a thread that goes deeper, that moves below and beyond the shifting sands of compatibility. That thread is fascination – a genuine fascination with someone’s inner world, the way they organize reality, the way they articulate their feelings, the unfathomable and bottomless depths of their being. To hear their beingness cry out to you again and again, and to never lose interest in what it is trying to convey. If there is that, then there will still be love when the body sickens, when the sexuality fades, when the perfection projection is long shattered. If there is that, you will swim in love’s waters until the very last breath.
Your wedding is just that….yours! Let it reflect who you are as a couple, honoring your beliefs, vision of marriage and cultural traditions.
I, as the wedding officiant, can’t help but smile and feel deeply honored to be a part of a couple’s special day when they express how precious each is to the other, just the two of them, or in the presence of all their wonderful loving family and friends.
In creating with each couple their ceremony, I find it important to express how individual and unique their wedding ceremony can be while still holding to much of the traditional ceremony style, or doing one’s “own thing” completely.
One of the first inquiries I offer is to reflect upon all the weddings they have witnessed. What have they liked, not liked. What have they inwardly or outwardly expressed, “Never at my wedding!”, or “Oh, I would want that too!”
Santa Fe is called the “city different”; so feel free when you get married here to have the “wedding different” in any degree that suits you. A nice blend of traditional and “different” is how we add the “personal” aspects in. I always offer ideas of what I have seen that to me works so well and is received well by the guests. Then we expand on this to honor your heartfelt wishes.
Another inquiry that I offer the couple is to think about and consider what, if anything, they also want to celebrate as part of their ceremony that we can include. Is family very important to honor, their parents, their children? Perhaps honoring and celebrating the joining of two families? If either or both have younger children, do they want to express, either themselves or through me, the ideal of the newly formed family and their “intentions” as the other being a new parent, guide, or the truly caring adult friend?
Most times at a larger wedding many guests do not truly know one of the “about to be married” partners. I offer suggestions of how to add into the ceremony personal sentiments of who each is – some wonderful images to get to know each individually and as a couple.
And, when just the two of you, a loving gesture is to include ways to express “well wishes” from family and friends not there, and yet, now here in spirit!
Many of us have imaged so much being brought into the presence of one who we can truly love, cherish and honor, and they us, and with whom we are willing to do the sincere creating of a loving and harmonious life together. And many have imagined so much the celebration of what we call “marriage”, expressing our joy of having the “other” in our life, and expressing in heartfelt sincere words our commitment and what this means to us. So, in my way of thinking and my witnessing over so many years now, it is lovingly beautiful and well worth all the contemplation and creative effort to personalize your wedding ceremony to be perfect for you both in meaning and belief. And a pure joy it is to serve in this way!
Although there are many wonderful Albuquerque Wedding Officiants and beautiful places to get married in Albuquerque, many couples enjoy a totally different wedding ceremony experience just one hour’s drive north.
It is so romantic to spend the night in one of Santa Fe’s beautiful hotels, hotel spas or quaint inns and get married on their property, your balcony or patio. Or you can “Airbnb it” and I will help you find a beautiful fun location where I can officiate your wedding. And you may just make it a day trip with your wedding ceremony followed by a lovely lunch or dinner at one of our many special restaurants. We have lovely parks and a few galleries that welcome the couple and their witnesses for an intimate ceremony. View my blog Outdoor Wedding Venues in New Mexico to see photos of two of our lovely parks. And yes, possibly, get married on our plaza!
The New Mexico County Clerk in Santa Fe is just a walk from the Plaza.
Getting a marriage license in Santa Fe New Mexico is easy, and our County Clerk’s staff will welcome all couples with smiles and quick easy service. So many couples have expressed to me how friendly and helpful the people at the County Clerk’s office are; always expressing their congratulatory enthusiasm! If you are staying at any of our downtown hotels, the office is an easy walk from the plaza. There is some pay parking out front and a pay parking lot across the street as well as street parking. It is wise to call ahead if you only have a Friday to get your license and it is a holiday weekend, as they might be closed. You can get your New Mexico marriage license and get married on the same day.
If your home is another country, it is wise to check if or how a US marriage license is or can be legal in your home country. Most Texas marriage licenses are legal to be used in New Mexico. However, it is wise to check with your Texas county to be sure.
So here are the logistics:
address: 102 Grant Ave.
time open: 8am to 5pm, Monday-Friday
photo ID required – US driver’s license or Passport if not US citizen
know your Social Security number
must be 18 years of age – If younger call for information on parental permission.
You may get your marriage license in any county in New Mexico and get married in any other county. You must return your New Mexico marriage license to the county from where it was issued.
Albuquerque County Clerk’s Office – 505-768-4314
There is additional information on my website under the link Marriage License New Mexico
One of the newer and larger indoor wedding venues, here in Santa Fe NM, is the wedding chapel at the Eldorado Hotel, in downtown Santa Fe, on our historic San Francisco Street. With white marble floors, white seating and straight architectural lines, creating a contemporary feel, is this golden wooden carved altar bringing in a historical old antiquity feel. The recessed lighting can change in color to add any “hue” one desires. “Starkness” blended with “Ornateness” was my first impression and a good one! I have officiated weddings here at Christmas, with red poinsettias gracing the altar, and weddings, like the photo, where the white ambiance is accented with white lilies and a hint of lavender hue.
Next to the chapel is an elegant large dressing room with full length mirrors and makeup counters. You will really feel like a queen and king on your special day!
David Stone, one of Santa Fe’s “best” with wedding co-ordinating, is the sales and catering manager who will make sure your day is perfect! Having worked with him as the wedding officiant/minister for many years, I can promise you this.
I have also noticed, when officiating weddings in this lovely chapel, that the acoustics for myself, as the minister, and the music are very good. The lifted altar makes for perfect visibility of your “beautiful happy selves” and your wedding party for all your guests – no matter if seated far or near.
A beautiful contemporary ballroom is close by for your reception with cocktail hour in the adjacent newly decorated lobby.
Swans Mate for Life – Symbolizing Our Human Ideal of Marriage
One of the first parts of a great wedding ceremony is expressing the couple’s ideal of their marriage; what their intentions are. How do they see their marriage, their vision of being together. In other words, how do they see love between the two of them and their joined life. This is a great contemplation and dialogue for any couple considering making this life long commitment.
As I reflect and contemplate marriages I admire, one particular characteristic comes to mind’s view; the respect each has for the other as a good, true human being. This of course develops over years of marriage and many experiences, both positive and negative. In my personal observances along with couples personal stories shared, it is the so called “not so good times”, getting through these times with honesty, integrity and humility, that develop deep respect for one another. When one sees their partner “digging deep” to become a better person, after recognition of “missing the mark”, and their sincere willingness to move into and manifest a higher point of view and higher behavior, a deeper admiration for the one they love continues to develop into true respect.
In my observation and reflection it is this” loving respect” that is what one can see in the togetherness of a couple who have been married for many years. That beautiful adoring way they still reach for each other in their touch, their voice, and their focused eye contact, even while dining out, or hand in hand walking into Home Depot.
Many say that marriage is hard work. I have come to admire that marriage, a good marriage, is one of the most creative endeavors we humans can choose, if both in the marriage “consciously choose” to be responsible for their individual “creating” daily.