The Spirituality of Marriage… “A True Marriage Is Caught not Taught.”

Love is playful, Love is honest, Love is respectful, Love just “IS”.

This is one of the most profound excerpts on marriage that was given to me to speak at a wedding. I wish I knew who to credit as authorship.

The act of marriage has many consequences, both social and personal.  Marriage requires “love”, a word we  often use with vagueness and sentimentality. We may assume that love is some rare and mystical event, when in fact it is our natural state of being.

So what do we mean by love?  When we love, we see things other people do not see. We see beneath the surface, to the qualities which make our beloved special and unique. To see with loving eyes, is to know inner beauty.  And to be loved is to be seen, and known, as we are known to no other.  One who loves us, gives us a unique gift; a piece of ourselves, but a piece that only they could give us.

The secret of love and marriage is similar to that of Spirituality itself.  It is the emergence of the larger self.  It is the finding of one’s life by losing it.  Such is the privilege of husband and wife ; to be each himself, herself and yet another, to face the world strong, with the courage of two.

To make this relationship work, therefore, takes more than love.  It takes trust, to know in your hearts that you want only the best for each other.  It takes dedication, to stay open to one another, to learn and grow, even when it is difficult to do so.  And it takes faith; to go forward together without knowing what the future holds for you both.  While love is our natural state of being, these other qualities are not as easy to come by.  They are not a destination, but a journey.

The true art of married life is in this; an inner journey.  It is a mutual enrichment, a give and take between two personalities, a mingling of two endowments, which diminishes neither, but enhances both.

A True Marriage is caught not taught.



If at the last minute you realize Harry or Sally really wanted to be a part of your wedding…

“Harmony is the signature of oneness” – D H

Well it can happen! You are at the rehearsal dinner with your bridesmaids, groomsmen, family and close friends, and now you realize that one or two of your dear friends or family members are really “hurt” they were not included as a part of your wedding ceremony. You had no idea they felt this way until now.  Here is a consideration.  In New Mexico and many other states, two witnesses are required to sign the marriage license. Generally, but not always, the witnesses are your maid of honor and best man, however, you might “save” requesting the witnesses until the day of your ceremony, or even after your ceremony, and ask the one or two of your friends or family, who you now realize feel a bit “left out”, to sign your marriage license.  Now they feel included and you feel you were able to honor them in a special way.